Bogafnartjoppas is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, ill-tempered wolf.

Bogafnartjoppas created dark energy three million years ago.

If you believe in Bogafnartjoppas, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bogafnartjoppas, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Bogafnartjoppas' most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Bogafnartjoppas' Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bogafnartjoppas.

2. Do not kill monkeys.

3. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

4. Doves are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Bogafnartjoppas in the centre of the settlement.