Yarlnell is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, unjust zebra.

Yarlnell created carbon six million years ago.

If you believe in Yarlnell, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Yarlnell, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Yarlnell's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Yarlnell's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Yarlnell on top of all buildings.

3. Do not skip in public.

4. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in brown.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.