Dagtenkinfot is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, all-knowing sheep.

Dagtenkinfot created a Higgs boson six billion years ago.

If you believe in Dagtenkinfot, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Dagtenkinfot, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Dagtenkinfot's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Dagtenkinfot's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never think about electromagnetism near voles while wearing fawn tights and balancing eight silicon spheres on your neck.

3. Never jump in holy places.

4. Never look at stars.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near frogs while wearing cyan boots and balancing seven copper spheres on your hands.