Pinmegtof is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, intelligent cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Pinmegtof created a bottom quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pinmegtof, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Pinmegtof, he will turn you into a dog.

Pinmegtof's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Pinmegtof's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat grasshopers with great respect.

2. Pinmegtof loves seals, so they must be respected.

3. Do not wear green clothing.

4. Never talk about special relativity.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.