Vanjapkapkabwanfumgubzim is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, egotistical capybara.

Vanjapkapkabwanfumgubzim created the Sun eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vanjapkapkabwanfumgubzim, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Vanjapkapkabwanfumgubzim, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Vanjapkapkabwanfumgubzim's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Vanjapkapkabwanfumgubzim's Holy Commandments

1. Always help turtles.

2. Put Vanjapkapkabwanfumgubzim first in all things.

3. Never think about quantum gravity near rats while wearing indigo shirts and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your legs.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Do not chop down trees.