Barnwandag is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, compassionate gorilla.

Barnwandag created the planet Saturn two years ago.

If you believe in Barnwandag, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Barnwandag, she will ignore you.

Barnwandag's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Barnwandag's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Barnwandag.

3. Never hurt ducks.

4. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

5. Erect a giant white sculpture of Barnwandag in the centre of the settlement.