Bellsitcem is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, uncaring bear.

Bellsitcem created tapeworms nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bellsitcem, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bellsitcem, he will be very unhappy.

Bellsitcem's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Bellsitcem's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

5. Never eat bark.