Futbadnad is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, happy chicken.

Futbadnad created an up quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Futbadnad, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Futbadnad, it will manifest in front of you.

Futbadnad's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Futbadnad's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in gray.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never talk about dark energy near snakes while wearing magenta hats.

5. Always wear cyan.