Dagnibgonbon is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, overgenerous turtle.

Dagnibgonbon created a quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dagnibgonbon, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Dagnibgonbon, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Dagnibgonbon's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Dagnibgonbon's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Dagnibgonbon.

2. Dagnibgonbon loves great tits, so they must be honoured.

3. Otters are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Always take life seriously.