Nelwipmad is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, unsympathetic octopus.

Nelwipmad created the Sombrero Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Nelwipmad, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Nelwipmad, it will turn you into a plant.

Nelwipmad's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Nelwipmad's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Feed all hungry rats.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate eagles.