Largpakfem Govcumfly is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, self-assured wolf.

Largpakfem Govcumfly created bats six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Largpakfem Govcumfly, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Largpakfem Govcumfly, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Largpakfem Govcumfly's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Largpakfem Govcumfly's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Always treat mites with great respect.

3. Run away if seven goats approach from the west.

4. Retreat if eight frogs approach from the south.

5. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.