Bonkfunbass is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, loving dugong.

Bonkfunbass created dark energy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkfunbass, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bonkfunbass, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Bonkfunbass' most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Bonkfunbass' Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Never write about spacetime.

3. Never hop in the presence of moths.

4. Do not speak about spinach.

5. Do not wear red clothing.