Mablapdon is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, self-assured swallow.

Mablapdon created humanity two billion years ago.

If you believe in Mablapdon, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Mablapdon, he will destroy your favourite star.

Mablapdon's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Mablapdon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Mablapdon's name in vain.

2. Never think about ultrasonics near turtles while wearing black ear rings and balancing eight gold spheres on your back.

3. Never think about moons.

4. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not shave your head.