Nartjaplamwatzimcibkik is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, pitiless wyrm.

Nartjaplamwatzimcibkik created the planet Saturn six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nartjaplamwatzimcibkik, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Nartjaplamwatzimcibkik, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Nartjaplamwatzimcibkik's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Nartjaplamwatzimcibkik's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about special relativity.

2. Always wear blue.

3. Never hurt dogs.

4. Run away from cyan foxes, for they are unholy.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate doves.