Satgessyartkopominflap is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, selfish faun.

Satgessyartkopominflap created a top quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Satgessyartkopominflap, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Satgessyartkopominflap, she will strike you with lightening.

Satgessyartkopominflap's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Satgessyartkopominflap's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Erect seven copper sculptures of Satgessyartkopominflap on top of important buildings.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never go into violet rooms.

5. Never wear ear rings.