Dutbatdubkippod is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, staggering walrus.

Dutbatdubkippod created a down quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Dutbatdubkippod, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Dutbatdubkippod, he will make you grow a tail.

Dutbatdubkippod's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Dutbatdubkippod's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate cats.

3. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Always make sure there are no shrews in a room before entering it.