Hansagstig Lapdinkop is a god.

It takes the form of a large, intelligent lizard.

Hansagstig Lapdinkop created snails nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Hansagstig Lapdinkop, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Hansagstig Lapdinkop, it will send you a sign.

Hansagstig Lapdinkop's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Hansagstig Lapdinkop's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. You must never eat bananas.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.