Wabdudflap is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, loving crane.

Wabdudflap created a photon seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Wabdudflap, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Wabdudflap, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Wabdudflap's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Wabdudflap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never talk about solid mechanics near snakes while wearing brown boots.

4. Never talk about special relativity.

5. Never write about the strong nuclear force.