Dudortkop is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, almighty wombat.

Dudortkop created viruses seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dudortkop, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Dudortkop, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Dudortkop's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Dudortkop's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Dudortkop.

2. Never sprint near rats.

3. Never feed lots of pineapples to porpoises while wearing magenta stockings.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.