Yarlsomcutbinguthotboss is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, grumpy dryad.

Yarlsomcutbinguthotboss created vertebrates twelve years ago.

If you believe in Yarlsomcutbinguthotboss, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Yarlsomcutbinguthotboss, he will turn you into a plant.

Yarlsomcutbinguthotboss' most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Yarlsomcutbinguthotboss' Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lentils to nematodes while wearing shoes.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Yarlsomcutbinguthotboss.

3. Never talk about photosynthesis.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.