Gepflatgam is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, duplicitous human.

Gepflatgam created the Sombrero Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepflatgam, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gepflatgam, it will manifest in front of you.

Gepflatgam's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Gepflatgam's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about cell theory.

2. Never look at planets.

3. Never chant near pigs.

4. You must love Gepflatgam.

5. Do not sit in public.