Funqueeglib is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, merciless dugong.

Funqueeglib created the Sombrero Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Funqueeglib, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Funqueeglib, it will cry a lot.

Funqueeglib's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Funqueeglib's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed bread to nematodes while wearing green skirts.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dogs.

5. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in yellow.