Loopkimflig is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, omnipotent elephant.

Loopkimflig created Africa four billion years ago.

If you believe in Loopkimflig, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Loopkimflig, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Loopkimflig's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Loopkimflig's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Loopkimflig.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never go into magenta rooms.

4. Always help sick dolphins.

5. Always obey Loopkimflig's priests.