Xucdusszen is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, prudent walrus.

Xucdusszen created the planet Venus six million years ago.

If you believe in Xucdusszen, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Xucdusszen, she will turn you into a mouse.

Xucdusszen's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Xucdusszen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Always look after injured squirrels.

3. Never think about planets.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force near horses while wearing turquoise shorts and balancing six titanium spheres on your head.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.