Fumkapsak is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, blissful mongoose.

Fumkapsak created the Small Magellanic Cloud five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fumkapsak, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Fumkapsak, she will turn you into a dog.

Fumkapsak's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Fumkapsak's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about eukaryotes.

2. You must pray to Fumkapsak nine times a day.

3. Fumkapsak loves birds, so they must be honoured.

4. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.