Wignurhas is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, quiet lobster.

Wignurhas created the planet Earth seven million years ago.

If you believe in Wignurhas, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Wignurhas, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Wignurhas' most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Wignurhas' Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Wignurhas.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate bats.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Always wear pink.

5. Retreat if seven doves approach from the north.