Joncepnelfar is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, grumpy naga.

Joncepnelfar created Africa five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Joncepnelfar, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Joncepnelfar, he will destroy your favourite star.

Joncepnelfar's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Joncepnelfar's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear dresses.

2. Always help nematodes.

3. Always look after injured voles.

4. Never think about electromagnetism.

5. Never think about ultrasonics near geese while wearing pink ear rings and balancing eight nickel spheres on your arms.