Bepwadhog is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, thoughtless naga.

Bepwadhog created Africa two million years ago.

If you believe in Bepwadhog, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Bepwadhog, he will turn you into a puffin.

Bepwadhog's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Bepwadhog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near dolphins while wearing black jumpers and balancing seven carbon spheres on your back.

3. Never feed peas to birds while wearing trousers.

4. Never sing near doves.

5. Do not drink water in white rooms.