Femjarntail is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, uncaring grasshopper.

Femjarntail created time and space four years ago.

If you believe in Femjarntail, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Femjarntail, it will destroy your favourite star.

Femjarntail's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Femjarntail's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention badgers.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never hurt snakes.

5. Do not cook food in pots.