Gubkadtan is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, dishonest crow.

Gubkadtan created the cosmos three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gubkadtan, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gubkadtan, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Gubkadtan's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Gubkadtan's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about stars.

2. Do not dye your hair fawn.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

4. Never feed lots of rice to eagles while wearing purple rings.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.