Carrakkadgess is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, witless walrus.

Carrakkadgess created a top quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Carrakkadgess, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Carrakkadgess, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Carrakkadgess' most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Carrakkadgess' Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill badgers.

2. Never talk about cell theory.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never wear shorts.