Fonwonbad Bonktargcim is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, merciless crocodile.

Fonwonbad Bonktargcim created the Cigar Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Fonwonbad Bonktargcim, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Fonwonbad Bonktargcim, it will not care at all.

Fonwonbad Bonktargcim's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Fonwonbad Bonktargcim's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Always look after injured great tits.

3. Never think about dark energy.

4. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a room before entering it.

5. Never look at nebulae.