Dogbontad is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, witty unicorn.

Dogbontad created Asia four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dogbontad, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dogbontad, it will be very unhappy.

Dogbontad's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Dogbontad's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh near cats.

2. Erect a large lead sculpture of Dogbontad on top of all buildings.

3. Hide from cyan tortoises for they are unholy.

4. Never look at planets.

5. Always make sure there are no snails in a building before entering it.