Cumdissxuc is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, uncaring guinea pig.

Cumdissxuc created energy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cumdissxuc, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Cumdissxuc, he will throw large rocks at you.

Cumdissxuc's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Cumdissxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Cumdissxuc.

3. Do not wear iron on your body.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never mention tortoises.