Zantailrip Sabcitlarg is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, merciless octopus.

Zantailrip Sabcitlarg created parasitic wasps five billion years ago.

If you believe in Zantailrip Sabcitlarg, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Zantailrip Sabcitlarg, it will turn you into a mouse.

Zantailrip Sabcitlarg's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Zantailrip Sabcitlarg's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Zantailrip Sabcitlarg's priests.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never sit in the presence of capybaras.

4. Do not jump in public.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.