Cutflapstik is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, merciful elephant.

Cutflapstik created energy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cutflapstik, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Cutflapstik, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Cutflapstik's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Cutflapstik's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Cutflapstik.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Never think about planets.

5. Do not chop down trees.