Fasmitfit is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, calm lobster.

Fasmitfit created carbon four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fasmitfit, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Fasmitfit, he will turn you into a slug.

Fasmitfit's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Fasmitfit's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large copper sculpture of Fasmitfit on top of all buildings.

2. Never wear black hats.

3. Erect six zinc sculptures of Fasmitfit on top of important buildings.

4. Do not wear gray clothing.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.