Bassfattarg is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, selfish bird.

Bassfattarg created tapeworms six million years ago.

If you believe in Bassfattarg, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bassfattarg, he will try to impress you with trees.

Bassfattarg's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Bassfattarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear violet kilts.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.