Yakdinfod is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, all-powerful cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Yakdinfod created bats seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yakdinfod, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Yakdinfod, it will turn you into a rat.

Yakdinfod's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Yakdinfod's Holy Commandments

1. Always help mice.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force near grasshopers while wearing brown ear rings and balancing eight copper spheres on your neck.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Always help sick geese.