Batvilrig is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, all-powerful goblin.

Batvilrig created a bottom quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Batvilrig, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Batvilrig, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Batvilrig's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Batvilrig's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of carrots to cats while wearing brown tights.

2. Never paint your face indigo.

3. Always help badgers.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never write about stars.