Gesskinjin is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, two-faced gorilla.

Gesskinjin created the Virgo Supercluster three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gesskinjin, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gesskinjin, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Gesskinjin's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Gesskinjin's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry monkeys.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Do not wear red clothing.

4. Never talk about aardvarks.

5. Fast once a month.