Motbetsat is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, proud raccoon.

Motbetsat created matter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Motbetsat, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Motbetsat, she will not invite you to parties.

Motbetsat's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Motbetsat's Holy Commandments

1. Birds are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. You must pray to Motbetsat four times a day.

4. You must never eat apples.

5. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.