Rowquamfed is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, passionate newt.

Rowquamfed created a photon six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rowquamfed, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Rowquamfed, he will send you a sign.

Rowquamfed's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Rowquamfed's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat lemons.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate bats.

4. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in black.

5. Never laugh in the presence of whales.