Yamgesskik Bassapprag is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, resourceful crab.

Yamgesskik Bassapprag created the world six million years ago.

If you believe in Yamgesskik Bassapprag, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Yamgesskik Bassapprag, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Yamgesskik Bassapprag's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Yamgesskik Bassapprag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not wear nickel on your body.

5. Never feed lots of wheat to mites while wearing turquoise dresses.