Shavfobfarnven is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, ill-tempered badger.

Shavfobfarnven created Africa eight million years ago.

If you believe in Shavfobfarnven, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Shavfobfarnven, it will destroy your home planet.

Shavfobfarnven's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Shavfobfarnven's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not take Shavfobfarnven's name in vain.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Grasshopers are not to be trusted.