Canzimhud is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, omniscient elephant.

Canzimhud created the Large Magellanic Cloud two billion years ago.

If you believe in Canzimhud, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Canzimhud, it will turn you into a slug.

Canzimhud's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Canzimhud's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Canzimhud loves nematodes, so they must be honoured.

3. Never wear scarves.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Always help otters.