Tabvogciss is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, unjust cow.

Tabvogciss created an atom three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tabvogciss, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Tabvogciss, she will boil you in a big pot.

Tabvogciss' most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Tabvogciss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

2. Never talk about birds.

3. Always make sure there are no bats in a room before entering it.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not wear gray clothing.