Kapparkbod is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, impressive bird.

Kapparkbod created light seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Kapparkbod, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Kapparkbod, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Kapparkbod's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Kapparkbod's Holy Commandments

1. Kapparkbod loves cats, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

4. You must never eat lemons.

5. Do not kill whales.