Cabstipmum is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, weak crane.

Cabstipmum created the planet Saturn eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cabstipmum, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Cabstipmum, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Cabstipmum's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Cabstipmum's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in the presence of doves.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never write about amino acids.