Nurwitzag is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, deceitful owl.

Nurwitzag created a down quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurwitzag, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Nurwitzag, it will turn you into a mole.

Nurwitzag's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Nurwitzag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in black rooms.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not kill great tits.

4. Never talk about geese.

5. Never wear indigo shorts.